Saturday, January 01, 2011

looking back

So what was the best part of 2010? I was asked that question recently and had a really hard time answering. I could immediately think of what the worst part (being the optimist that I am) was but the best was really hard to decide. I have been to some pretty cool places and enjoyed good times with friends so here are the highlights:

- crawling around in the caves of West Virginia
- climbing outdoors using ropes and harnesses
- meeting my nephew Augustus Wallace Lovelady
- meeting my nephew from a brother from another mother Matthias
- getting to spend more time with my sister and her children
- spending more time with my grandparents and getting to hear their fun stories
- working on quite a few quilts to give away
- moving into a new place with more space
- getting to work with an amazing group of kids
- getting to hang out with my friends
- getting snowed in with friends and not being able to find my car the next morning
- questioning a lot about what I want to do in this life I have to live here
- kayaking under a full moon
- meeting new people
- connecting in a different way with people I've known for a long time
- unexpected and undeserved gifts from friends (camera, ipod, shoes)
- having fun taking pictures again
- laughing a lot
- playing 6 hour long board games and not hating it
- friends willing to hold me accountable and help me with my frustrations
- people who get my sense of humor
- learning new things
- getting to play more volleyball and having people think I'm great (little do they know)
- communicating my feelings

Now this list is fine and dandy but I think that the question of 'what was the worst part of this year?' needs to be asked too:

- recognizing my feelings and lack of ability to communicate them for a long time
- being a hermit when I don't want to deal with things that need to be dealt with
- being frustrated with friends who don't understand me because I won't communicate to them my frustrations (pure foolishness)
- getting injured pretty badly twice within a space of 3 months (one a torn MCL while playing volleyball and the other a badly pulled muscle in my arm after water skiing)
- not to mention getting punched in the face while playing volleyball
- having a hard time relationally with multiple people that I work pretty close with and not knowing how to deal with that
- trying to figure out what my goals are as of now, how they've changed and whether or not they are God's will or my own
- trying to better understand God's call on my life specifically
- being frustrated with the church and not motivated to do anything about it
- not being creative or making as much as I would like to have done (too many ideas and not enough time or motivation)
- putting up with childish adults (don't get me wrong I think it's great that people can still have childlike hearts when they're older but to act childishly relationally and not accept things about yourself is the kind of childish I'm talking about)
- having my own childish attitude at times and not wanting to admit it
- not being able to shut my mind off at times
- not being about to work out my own thoughts so that I don't have to think about them incessantly

Now for a new year and new challenges along with old ones.
I read this recently and thought it fit pretty well for me too, My goal is to "do what I'm doing already only better". To live an intentional life and learn from my mistakes.

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